Women's Wisdom

Saying No without Guilt

Are you a people-pleaser? I am a Master People Pleaser. I excel at reading people and intuiting their needs and considering their wants. My highly sensitive nature is put to good use in this endeavor. This makes me an excellent caregiver - of people or animals. I'm also a caring friend, daughter, and wife.

This gift is also one of my greatest challenges. I'm so good at thinking of others that I forget to consider myself. Can you relate?

To be honest, it makes me feel good to see others happy. That's why I love being a Coach! It's so rewarding seeing my clients blossom into the truest versions of themselves and create a life that mirrors their brilliance, their worth, their loves.

I also love fostering dogs, cats and horses that have had it rough in life. They come to me skinny and scared and leave happy, healthy and going to a forever home. Great use of sensitivity.

After my Mom's accident, my priorities became very clear and most projects were taken off my plate. Not surprisingly, time at the hospital supporting my Dad and Mom were top priority. And only necessary living tasks were maintained. That meant saying "No" to everything else.

Being highly aware of other people's feelings, saying No is normally challenging for me. I can actually feel the person's disappointment and/or expectations. I may say No anyway, but it takes considerable energy and I often question the decision. 

The surprising gift in this recent experience was saying No with no guilt, no questioning. Free and clear. Wow. A new experience for me. If someone was unhappy with my choice, there was nothing I could do about it. They were responsible for their own feelings.

Now, it's not that I didn't know this already. Of course, people are responsible for their own feelings. And sometimes when making the right choice for oursleves, we will disappoint people. It can't be avoided. Knowing this and not being affected by the energy of someone else's disappointment or trying to people please are two different things. THAT was the new experience for me.

I vowed to anchor this experience in my body so I could keep it even after this initial crisis passed and I returned to my previous projects.

How much do you consider other people's feelings and reactions? Does it keep you from doing things for your self or keep you from things you would really like to do? Do you think of your self first or last? Or somewhere in between?

Imagine this scenario: You're walking out the door on the way to the gym, a gift you give your self and your body. The phone rings and it's a friend who needs to talk. Not an emergency but needs to talk about say, something that happened at work that upset her. How do you respond? Do you tell your friend you can talk later, but you have a prior appointment? Or do you put the gym aside and talk to your friend? :D

I love our sensitive, caring, people-pleasing nature. We bring incredible giftsto the world and they're needed. AND, we have to learn to take really good care of ourselves - physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Self-care is crucial for us to be able to be in the world and share our gifts. We're no good to ourselves, our family or the world when we're overwhelmed.

You can expect Self-Care to be a key part of my upcoming end-of-summer program, Excavating Your Authentic Self (tm)!

Seeing you valuing your Self, honoring Who you are, and taking excellent care of your Self and your gifts!

Until next time - With Love,

Lauren

Life Interrupted

Every spring, I look forward to the spring blooming - of wild flowers and my energy. As life bursts forth in wonderful shades of color, shapes and sizes, my creative energy also blossoms. Coming out of the doldrums of winter, spring is a welcome change.

This year, as I planned new Spring offerings for you, my life was dramatically interrupted. And I am forever changed as a result.

On March 12th, my Mother was in a horrific car accident. By the Grace of God, she survived. Jaws of Life and LifeFlight were called and family rushed to the Emergency Room. Thankfully, no internal injuries but many, many broken bones, including a broken neck, ankles, arm, face, etc. In that one moment, my priorities shifted and almost every thing was swept off my plate.

In the 3 months that have followed, there have been many, many Blessings. The force of God or Spirit has been undeniable  - and miraculous at times. I have never been so present as when visiting with my Mom. One day short of 12 weeks, my Mom came home from the hospital. She still has a long rehabilitation to be able to walk again, but she is alive and healing well.

As you know, I am a life-long student of personal growth and consciousness. There are many lessons and learnings from this experience that I would like to share with you. And there are some offerings I'm being called to share (Soul-pushed is more like it).

You will hear more about the offerings in an upcoming issue of Women's Wisdom, but plan on an exciting end of summer! And in the meantime, with your permission, I will be sharing the learnings from my last 3 months journey.

Read tomorrow's entry for the first learning...

With Love,

Lauren

P.S. - If you are a Highly Sensitive Woman and have or love horses, you're in for an extra surprise!

Worth Repeating - Description of a Growth Period

Some wisdom is timeless. Having recently rediscovered this article and finding it a pleasant reminder, I thought you might enjoy the reminder too. In Spirit, Lauren

Reprinted from October 2007:

Part of my metamorphosis has involved a deepening relationship with my body. Meaning, I've been trying to make sense of all that's been going on with it since this releasing/healing began :D

I often talk about growth periods with my coaching clients, because while our Spirit is timeless and can change instantly, our bodies have to process the change in the physical world.

So my body said "Tell them what metamorphosis is like to a body"... Maybe you would like to know what a growth period, a period of intense change, looks like on a day-to-day basis. (Maybe not :D) Be prepared for the good, the bad, and the...ugly.

My growth period has at times looked like:

* Weird sleep patterns or non-sleep patterns (not conforming to a 'normal' pattern)

* Extreme tiredness during normal afternoon 'lull'

* Headaches (UGH)

* Unusual  body aches

* Congestion, coughing

* Various transitory aches and pains

* Blurred vision

* Unusual food cravings or boredom with food I normally love

* Surges of energy and times of low-energy

* No creative energy. No Yang energy. Inaction.

* Increase in intuitive hits.

* More awareness of energy - mine and others.

* New approaches to old problems, relationship patterns, etc. just come up out of the blue.

* Keen awareness of how old patterns played out and the underlying beliefs.

While a number of these symptoms could be attributed to other things (illness, planetary changes, etc.) and while I am definitely affected by things happening on a global and stellar level (are you?), all these symptoms can coincide with releasing/restructuring of old (childhood) beliefs ...

So what's the best strategy for handling an intense growth period, you ask?

Taking really good care of your body. Physical care of your body. That means getting extra sleep and rest. Drinking lots of water. Physical movement like walking, dancing, yoga, pilates, and sex. Laughter. Lots of laughter - watch a funny movie, hang out with friends that make you laugh, watch the comedy channel. Baths - healing baths like epsom salts help your body release energy. Massages, flowers, beauty - anything that engages the physical senses.

I joke that sometimes a growth period is a 'gross' period. :D Sometimes...

Here's to your growth and evolution!

In Spirit,

Lauren

Reprinted from October 2007:

Part of my metamorphosis has involved a deepening relationship with my body. Meaning, I've been trying to make sense of all that's been going on with it since this releasing/healing began :D

I often talk about growth periods with my coaching clients, because while our Spirit is timeless and can change instantly, our bodies have to process the change in the physical world.

So my body said "Tell them what metamorphosis is like to a body"... Maybe you would like to know what a growth period, a period of intense change, looks like on a day-to-day basis. (Maybe not :D) Be prepared for the good, the bad, and the...ugly.

My growth period has at times looked like:

* Weird sleep patterns or non-sleep patterns (not conforming to a 'normal' pattern)

* Extreme tiredness during normal afternoon 'lull'

* Headaches (UGH)

* Unusual  body aches

* Congestion, coughing

* Various transitory aches and pains

* Blurred vision

* Unusual food cravings or boredom with food I normally love

* Surges of energy and times of low-energy

* No creative energy. No Yang energy. Inaction.

* Increase in intuitive hits.

* More awareness of energy - mine and others.

* New approaches to old problems, relationship patterns, etc. just come up out of the blue.

* Keen awareness of how old patterns played out and the underlying beliefs.

While a number of these symptoms could be attributed to other things (illness, planetary changes, etc.) and while I am definitely affected by things happening on a global and stellar level (are you?), all these symptoms can coincide with releasing/restructuring of old (childhood) beliefs ...

So what's the best strategy for handling an intense growth period, you ask?

Taking really good care of your body. Physical care of your body. That means getting extra sleep and rest. Drinking lots of water. Physical movement like walking, dancing, yoga, pilates, and sex. Laughter. Lots of laughter - watch a funny movie, hang out with friends that make you laugh, watch the comedy channel. Baths - healing baths like epsom salts help your body release energy. Massages, flowers, beauty - anything that engages the physical senses.

I joke that sometimes a growth period is a 'gross' period. :D Sometimes...

Here's to your growth and evolution!

In Spirit,

Lauren

Real Food

What does real food mean to you?

As a society, we've really lost touch with the source of our food. From vegetables and fruits grown out of the country, to buying meat products that look nothing like where they came from, we're no longer connected to the food we eat.

We have the luxury of buying and eating foods that may or may not be in-season in our area. This is a good thing, right? Not necessarily.

In losing our connection to the source of our foods, we've also lost touch with our bodies own rhythms, which, whether we pay attention or not, are tied into Mother Nature.

Recreating that connection with our foods can bring back the discovery of REAL FOOD. Food grown locally, in-season, in honor with nature and what your geographic area has to offer.

I call this Conscious Living. Deliberately living, choosing our way of life - not unconsciously going through the motions. Honoring our bodies' wisdom. Honoring the seasons. Honoring our natural rhythms.

What a novel concept, huh?

For me, that means that as the weather gets cooler, my body automatically switches from wanting salads to wanting soups. It seems to need the warm foods to keep the 'inner furnace' going.

I'm more connected with my food since planting a summer vegetable garden and enjoying the fresh squash, swiss chard, canteloupe, green peppers and tomatoes. I've been growing some of my own vegetables for years, starting with a small patio garden on my apartment balcony in Carlsbad, California.

Now that I'm living on 88 acres in Brenham, Texas, I just love my small chicken flock and collecting the eggs on a daily basis. I swear these free-range eggs taste better!

One of our local farmers, Home Sweet Farm, has created an entire business around providing organic, locally-grown produce to his subscribers. The business is BOOMING!

Want to learn more about REAL FOOD and where you can buy locally?

Check out this article in Mother Earth News, Join the Real Food Revival:
http://www.motherearthnews.com/Whole-Foods-and-Cooking/2005-08-01/Join-the-Real-Food-Revival.aspx

Find a local farm in your area:
http://www.localharvest.org/

Or you can start by checking out your local farmer's market and have some fun!

In Joy,

Lauren

Description of a Growth Period

Part of my metamorphosis has involved a deepening relationship with my body. Meaning, I've been trying to make sense of all that's been going on with it since this releasing/healing began :D

I often talk about growth periods with my coaching clients, because while our Spirit is timeless and can change instantly, our bodies have to process the change in the physical world.

So my body said "Tell them what metamorphosis is like to a body"... Maybe you would like to know what a growth period, a period of intense change, looks like on a day-to-day basis. (Maybe not :D) Be prepared for the good, the bad, and the...ugly.

My growth period has at times looked like:

* Weird sleep patterns or non-sleep patterns (being wide-awake until 3am in the morning every night for 2 weeks)

* Extreme tiredness during normal afternoon 'lull'

* Two weeks of persistent headaches (UGH)

* One week of extreme body ache along the spinal column

* Congestion, coughing

* Various transitory aches and pains

* Blurred vision

* Unusual food cravings or boredom with food I normally love

* Surges of energy and times of low-energy

* No creative energy. No Yang energy. Inaction.

* Increase in intuitive hits.

* More awareness of energy - mine and others.

* New approaches to old problems, relationship patterns, etc. just come up out of the blue.

* Keen awareness of how old patterns played out and the underlying beliefs.

While a number of these symptoms could be attributed to other things (illness, planetary changes, etc.) and while I am definintely affected by things happening on a global and stellar level, all these symptoms coincided with the releasing/restructuring of old (childhood) beliefs held in the affected area...

My personal favorite is all the energy coming off my spine and my head. The 'pain' was the belief that I have scoliosis and will always have scoliosis and that it can only be managed and never cured. Since I was diagnosed at age 10, there was a lot of energy stored up in those beliefs/stories. As I also instill the belief and behaviors around being true to myself, I will need a strong backbone (aka spine). Hahaha. (Trust me, this was a not fun releasing)

Coincidence? I think not.

So what's the best strategy for handling an intense growth period, you ask?

Taking really good care of your body. Physical care of your body. That means getting extra sleep and rest. Drinking lots of water. Physical movement like walking, dancing, yoga, pilates, and sex. Laughter. Lots of laughter - watch a funny movie, hang out with friends that make you laugh, watch the comedy channel. Baths - healing baths like epsom salts help your body release energy. Massages, flowers, beauty - anything that engages the physical senses.

I joke that sometimes a growth period is a 'gross' period. :D Sometimes...

Hope this was helpful -

In Spirit,

Lauren

Where Have I Been?

It's been a long while since I've written...

Here's some of what I've been up to:

Girls' Weekend in Bandera, Texas

Fostering another older horse - this is JJ. He's 29.5 years old. I foster horses for True Blue Animal Rescue - www.tbar.org - I also update and maintain their website.

Walking ...with friends and neighbors...

Transforming...

I pulled an apple from the bottom of the pile and the whole apple cart has shifted. And as my coach said, I'm not just rearranging - because the apples are turning into oranges! So this has truly been a time of metamorphisis - like the caterpillar turning into the butterfly. Depending on the time that you witness the process, it could look like total destruction - the caterpillar first dissolves... or it might look like rebuilding with a different foundation.

During these intense transformational times, the best I can do is take care of myself and the basic requirements of living. With so much internal focus and change, there's not much energy left over for external doing or creating. That is why you haven't seen this newsletter in a while nor seen new offerings announced. And you won't for a while yet, because the metamorphosis is not complete.

I've been doing personal growth work, deliberately and consciously, since  I was 28 years old. And yet I have to admit I find myself in awe of the complexity of the stories, beliefs and programming we carry around in our human bodies and how they play out, no, determine the script of our lives. How the very fabric of our lives are colored by our beliefs, no matter how subtle they may be.

A wonderful movie that illustrates how our behaviors, beliefs, memories determine who we are is Regarding Henry, starring Harrison Ford. It's worth watching. Who would you be without your stories, your beliefs about yourself, about women, about men, about the world?  What would your life be like?

I submit these two beliefs for your consideration:

Pain is a mistake.

Happiness is the goal, the end-all.

Next time, I'll give you my thoughts on these beliefs. And they are just that...beliefs. :D

In Spirit,

Lauren

ANNOUNCING: Body Knowledge System™: A System for Living-Do it Your Way ®

Announcing! Body Knowledge System ™ 12-week TeleClass Series with Stephanie Wood Starts Sept. 12th! Stephanie Wood has always believed that our bodies are a source of both joy and great information. Most of us think of intelligence as coming through our mind—our thinking process. Few people have been taught how to interpret the communication our body is constantly delivering. Stephanie has spent her life discovering how our bodies communicate valuable clues for decision-making and discerning life choices. Stephanie’s understanding has evolved into the Body Knowledge System™ which she teaches to people around the world via TeleClasses (telephone conferencing.) Stephanie says, “The more we understand about the vibrational aspect of the Law of Attraction, the easier it becomes to interpret the vibrational signals our body is sending us. Our body gives us clues about unhealthy beliefs held in our subconscious mind which manifest in a variety of ways, such as: chronic pain or health challenges that remain unresolved fatigue and lack enthusiasm for life eating, exercising or resting becomes strenuous feeling stuck “paralyzed” in some area of our lives.” Body Knowledge System™ empowers you with tools to interpret the vibrations your body uses to communicate with you. Body Knowledge System™ will enable you to recognize the feedback your body is giving you so that you can make the best possible choices in all areas of your life. This 12-week course is foundational not only for those of you who have health challenges but also for those with weight loss or mobility issues...and work transitions! Meet Stephanie Wood To speak with Stephanie, call: 908.654.8459 Office hours: 9am-5pm ET Join Stephanie on her FREE introductory TeleClass: Resist Exercising? Want to Know Why? 12 Weeks for only $379 Value? Incalculable... Visit the Law of Attraction Training Center Register before Sept 10th for this unique 12-week TeleClass Series: Body Knowledge System™: A System for Living-Do it Your Way®

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BE the change - July 17th Meditation

If you travel in the same 'virtual circles' that I do, then this is not the first email about the July 17th meditation that you've received. But if this is the first you've heard about it, I invite you to join in this global meditation of love and light!

I'm a night-owl, but I'm going to drag my butt out of bed at 6am tomorrow morning (yikes!) to meditate with others around the world.

Marianne Williamson commented about this meditation: "I'm going to be doing the "Fire the Grid" meditation on July 17th, and hope you'll join in. "Prayer is the medium of miracles," according to A COURSE IN MIRACLES, and this giant global meditation can amount to an extraordinarily powerful prayer for the healing of the world."

I believe in the power of group energy - I've witnessed it; I've participated in it; I've experienced it. If you're so inspired, please join in meditation on Tuesday, July 17th at 7am Eastern and meditate in your own way (for 1 hour if you can).

"BE the change you wish to see in the world!" - Mahatma Gandhi

Find out more details about this global event at: www.firethegrid.com

In Spirit,

Lauren Lee

Courageous Women!

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. "

Margaret Mead - US anthropologist & popularizer of anthropology (1901 - 1978)

Celebrating women - their courage, conviction and willingness to step forward, even in the face of danger, and make a difference. Look what we can accomplish together!

http://www.glumbert.com/media/savehorse

Just had to share!

In Spirit,

Lauren

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

You know the question. You're asked it from and early age - "What do you want to be when you grow up?" For most of us, the answer changed as we grew up and got older. At different times in my childhood, I wanted to be a wildlife photographer, a journalist, a pianist, or a teacher. Those are the ones I remember, anyway. What did you want to be? Do you remember?

As a child, our answer to that question was fueled by our likes and what made us happy. But when we leave high school, the question takes on a serious tone, doesn't it? If going to college, you're supposed to pick a major - what you want to do for the rest of your life. (

Permit me to rant briefly :) I always thought is was ludicrous to ask an 18 year old that question. How could she or he possibly know the answer to that question? Unless you're one of the lucky few that has known from the beginning the ONE thing you wanted to do, choosing a career is daunting. At 18 yrs old, one  hardly has enough life experience to know one's passions. OK, I'm done ranting :)

Instead, our careers or college majors are determined by other factors: money, career growth potential, demand, what our father/family did, etc. It's no wonder the majority of Americans are unhappy with their jobs!

Do you remember what you wanted to be when you were a child? (*) The answer(s) could provide insight into your Soul's passions.

On a light-hearted note, I swear my parents got a hold of the Texas A&M University course catalog and tore out all the pages except Engineering degrees. :)  These days, I know of a number of degrees that were definitely NOT in my course catalog. Examples: Fine arts (Play with clay), Animal Sciences (play with horses), Medieval Philosophy (who knew?), etc. Maybe people believe it's tough to find work with these degrees - another common factor in choosing a career.

I'm not saying that all these factors shouldn't be considered, but I prefer the approach Deepak Chopra refers to in his book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, in the chapter on Dharma: "Everyone has a purpose in life... a unique gift or special talent to give to others. You have a talent that is unique in its expression, so unique that there's no one else alive on this planet that has that talent, or that expression of that talent."

So, are you doing what you wanted to do when you grew up? Are you living your Soul's calling, your heart's yearning?

I am blessed to say that I am. More and more every day. When I teach teleclasses and when I coach women to come back to their center, their power, their strength, their voice, my Spirit soars. And when I connect with an animal; and nurture it back to health - physically and emotionally - and find it a loving, forever home through my local animal rescue, my heart is full.

If you are not doing what you wanted to do when you grew up, why aren't you? What are the reasons you tell yourself?

Are you willing to hear some loving, but tough coaching? If not, stop reading NOW.

The reasons you tell yourself (or others tell you) about why you can't do what you most want are not reasons at all... they're EXCUSES. Breathe. :D

You CAN live your dream work and life - no matter what the excuses you've been told or tell yourself. When you're ready to go for it, ready to bust the programming and the excuses, contact me. I can support you as you make changes in your life. (**)

In Spirit,

Lauren

(*) - Funny that we were asked what we wanted to BE when we grew up when it would have been more correct to ask what we wanted to DO when we grew up? WHAT you want to BE or WHO you want to BE is a whole different question... and another whole article :)

(**) - Often when we make BIG changes in our lives, our family and friends resist at first and unfortunately, are not initially able to support us. They can't be there for us because the changes we're making push their buttons. I can be your unconditional support and advocate during the transition.